A Formula for the Coaching Process

A Formula for the Coaching Process

1. Collect Background Information

Learn what, SPECIFICALLY the person finds important in life. Watch their behavior, actions, reactions and mannerisms. Identify their baseline body language. Identify the SPECIFIC issue, behavior or tendency that needs to be realigned. Collect the tangible background information as well as the intangible. We sometimes steer away from the intangibles, because, well they’re intangible. With practice and creativity you can build a tangible issue from a perception or a generalization.

2. Develop a Plan

Start with the OBT process, Outcome Based Thinking. If you work backward from your expected end result, then it will be easier to head off any attempts to derail the process. Remember, the person you are working with will resent any efforts to change their behaviors or beliefs. The result, in most cases, will be a series of natural defenses, designed to protect and justify their subconscious programming. Pointing the finger at everything and everyone else, not willing to admit that the real issue is their own behavior. Prepare yourself too, for the least that you are willing to accept from the meeting. Sometimes you will struggle for the right motivational thoughts or simply run out of time. So prepare yourself for the minimum that you can accept.
Prepare yourself with stories, analogies or fables that may help you paint a LASTING picture in their mind. Stories allow you to speak directly to person’s subconscious, the EXACT source of most behavior. Rely on quotations from experts and don’t be afraid to express what you have learned from your own experiences. This AUTOMATICALLY builds credibility and Keeps it REAL! Chose appropriate stories. Those that ADD VALUE, connect with what they find important in life or teach values and beliefs. Share emotional experiences and don’t be afraid to show the raw AND controlled emotion. Focus on your intention. Focus on what you want the other person to think, feel or do after you tell the story. Focus on your purpose, what is your business, in life. Remember, you want the other person to come out on top too.
Practice your OPEN and CLOSED ended questions. Use the Open ended questions when you want the person to expand on a thought or express their opinion. Ask a Closed ended question then you need to pull the discussion back onto the tracks. IT’S EASY, IF NOT MONITORED AND CONTROLLED, TO LOSE TRACK OF THE GOAL WHEN THE DEFENSES START FLYING.
Consider the problems that could come up and how you might deal with each of them. Remember this too, that the fear of loss is a much stronger motivator than the pleasure from a potential gain. People will naturally do more to avoid pain than to seek pleasure.
Prepare a Conclusion

3. Discussion

Build Rapport
Absolutely be sure and sit on the dominant side of the person. If they are Right Handed then sit to their Right. If they are Left Handed then sit to their Left.
Start with small talk, help the person feel comfortable and relaxed. This is often a high pressure situation and the natural defenses will hurt your process and hinder the person’s development. Talk about something that you know they are interested in. If it’s a subject that you don’t find particularly interesting then ask questions like, “How did you first learn to do this?” or “When did you first become interested in this …?”
Discretely match the other person’s movements, pace of breathing and tone of voice.
Watch the persons every move and listen to every word they choose. The words that a person ELECTS to use can help you determine HOW they are thinking and aid you in helping them realize a misgiving. You know that you have gained some rapport by the person’s actions and movements. First, they will let down their defensive posture and fall into their baseline as described above. As this discussion continues, you will notice that the person is falling into and out of rapport, by their actions. From time to time you can test the status of rapport by changing your position or posture. When in rapport, the other people will likely and subconsciously, mimic your movement.
Provide a note pad and a pen for your person to write down any notes and encourage him to do so. This is a big part of the learning a commitment process. Periodically refer back to what they wrote down to determine what they found to be important.

State the purpose of the discussion, the problem and specifically how the work supports the organization. Don’t hesitate to review some of the positive aspects of this persons work.
Mutually discuss the expectations and the measures.
Recap the discussion and check for commitment. It always helps to ask the person to restate, for you, what they perceive to be their path forward. What specifically, their actions or changes in behavior will be and result in. Ask them to review their notes. You want to hear them restate your expectations, in their own words. IF NECESSARY, help them here, but only if they get off track.

Set a date for follow-up. FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR COMMITMENT.

Help them see how their behavior, words, actions, body language and even facial expressions will influence their own way of behaving and everyone around them too. When they walk out of this session, their every movement or reaction will be ABSOLUTLEY CRITICAL.

END on a positive note. Shake hands. Crack a joke. Talk more about the person’s positive contributions to the organization.