Technically, "the Butterfly Effect is a metaphor, describing the concept where there is a sensitive dependence on initial conditions of a dynamic system that may produce a large variation in the long term behavior of the system." Awesome Technical Stuff! Right? Put another way, this phrase also represents the theory that the movement of a butterflies wings, creates a tiny change in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the weather on the other side of the globe. The exact effect on the weather may also vary, depending on the angle of the movement, the speed of the movement and the direction the butterfly is moving in. So, in theory a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil could cause a tornado in Texas. It’s all scientific theory of course, but just imagine it, for a minute.
On the other hand, these dynamic systems describe too, the infinite number relationships between people, objects and the most discrete of actions (or not), reactions (or not), behaviors (or not). Basically any behavior (or lack of), mannerism (or lack of), attitude (good or not), facial expression (or lack of), all have an impact somewhere down the line. The impact may be favorable or not favorable, depending on ALL of the details of the specific situation. Consider too, the ripple effect caused by the butterfly which led to the tornado in Texas. Think of it like the ripples that result when you toss a stone in a calm lake. The ripple starts out small and continues to grow in size, bigger and bigger until it blends in with the rest of the lake. The fact is that there ripples are continuing on such a small scale that you just can’t see them. Imagine how the ripple might look differently if you were to plunge a stick (representing a coworker) into the water, somewhere amidst the ripples. Imagine then, how it might look, if you tossed another stone (representing a mischievous coworker) in, amongst the ripples. All of these things are analogies to our behaviors and THE IMPACT OF THE IMPACTS of the behaviors.
The LIFE ALTERING REVELATION comes when we realize that we are all butterflies, in a way, and our behaviors are the flapping of the wings, which have some end result(s). The sentence we choose, the words we choose, the posture or mannerisms we take, our facial expressions or our tone of voice. All of these seemingly small things can potentially have a significant impact on someone or something, seemingly unrelated.
Being conscious of this, WISELY CHOOSE what you would like the end results to be.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Learning and Habits
I have learned that it is important to be aware of how we learn, and in some cases, make things habitual. The Learning Process:
1. Unconscious Incompetence. That is to say, you are unaware of what you don’t know.
2. Conscious Incompetence. That is to say, you are aware now of what you are unable to do.
3. Conscious Competence. That is to say, you have learned about what you previously unaware of, although you must still think your way through it, step by step.
4. Unconscious Competence. That is to say, now you have programmed yourself, so as the activity or behavior is automatic.
This last level is that which habits are formed. Habits can be a double-edged sword. Habits can be Good, when you need to learn something that needs repetition. Habits can be Bad, when the activity or behavior can benefit from a different perspective, approach or method. Bad Habits don’t Add Value.
1. Unconscious Incompetence. That is to say, you are unaware of what you don’t know.
2. Conscious Incompetence. That is to say, you are aware now of what you are unable to do.
3. Conscious Competence. That is to say, you have learned about what you previously unaware of, although you must still think your way through it, step by step.
4. Unconscious Competence. That is to say, now you have programmed yourself, so as the activity or behavior is automatic.
This last level is that which habits are formed. Habits can be a double-edged sword. Habits can be Good, when you need to learn something that needs repetition. Habits can be Bad, when the activity or behavior can benefit from a different perspective, approach or method. Bad Habits don’t Add Value.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Leadership Quote
"Control is not leadership; management is not leadership; leadership is leadership is leadership. If you seek to lead, invest at least 50% of your time LEADING YOURSELF—your own purpose, ethics, principles, motivation, conduct. Invest at least 20% leading those with authority over you and 15% leading your peers. If you don't understand that you work for your mislabeled 'subordinates,' then you know nothing of leadership. You know only tyranny."
— Dee Hock
Founder and CEO Emeritus
VISA International
— Dee Hock
Founder and CEO Emeritus
VISA International
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A Formula for the Coaching Process
A Formula for the Coaching Process
1. Collect Background Information
Learn what, SPECIFICALLY the person finds important in life. Watch their behavior, actions, reactions and mannerisms. Identify their baseline body language. Identify the SPECIFIC issue, behavior or tendency that needs to be realigned. Collect the tangible background information as well as the intangible. We sometimes steer away from the intangibles, because, well they’re intangible. With practice and creativity you can build a tangible issue from a perception or a generalization.
2. Develop a Plan
Start with the OBT process, Outcome Based Thinking. If you work backward from your expected end result, then it will be easier to head off any attempts to derail the process. Remember, the person you are working with will resent any efforts to change their behaviors or beliefs. The result, in most cases, will be a series of natural defenses, designed to protect and justify their subconscious programming. Pointing the finger at everything and everyone else, not willing to admit that the real issue is their own behavior. Prepare yourself too, for the least that you are willing to accept from the meeting. Sometimes you will struggle for the right motivational thoughts or simply run out of time. So prepare yourself for the minimum that you can accept.
Prepare yourself with stories, analogies or fables that may help you paint a LASTING picture in their mind. Stories allow you to speak directly to person’s subconscious, the EXACT source of most behavior. Rely on quotations from experts and don’t be afraid to express what you have learned from your own experiences. This AUTOMATICALLY builds credibility and Keeps it REAL! Chose appropriate stories. Those that ADD VALUE, connect with what they find important in life or teach values and beliefs. Share emotional experiences and don’t be afraid to show the raw AND controlled emotion. Focus on your intention. Focus on what you want the other person to think, feel or do after you tell the story. Focus on your purpose, what is your business, in life. Remember, you want the other person to come out on top too.
Practice your OPEN and CLOSED ended questions. Use the Open ended questions when you want the person to expand on a thought or express their opinion. Ask a Closed ended question then you need to pull the discussion back onto the tracks. IT’S EASY, IF NOT MONITORED AND CONTROLLED, TO LOSE TRACK OF THE GOAL WHEN THE DEFENSES START FLYING.
Consider the problems that could come up and how you might deal with each of them. Remember this too, that the fear of loss is a much stronger motivator than the pleasure from a potential gain. People will naturally do more to avoid pain than to seek pleasure.
Prepare a Conclusion
3. Discussion
Build Rapport
Absolutely be sure and sit on the dominant side of the person. If they are Right Handed then sit to their Right. If they are Left Handed then sit to their Left.
Start with small talk, help the person feel comfortable and relaxed. This is often a high pressure situation and the natural defenses will hurt your process and hinder the person’s development. Talk about something that you know they are interested in. If it’s a subject that you don’t find particularly interesting then ask questions like, “How did you first learn to do this?” or “When did you first become interested in this …?”
Discretely match the other person’s movements, pace of breathing and tone of voice.
Watch the persons every move and listen to every word they choose. The words that a person ELECTS to use can help you determine HOW they are thinking and aid you in helping them realize a misgiving. You know that you have gained some rapport by the person’s actions and movements. First, they will let down their defensive posture and fall into their baseline as described above. As this discussion continues, you will notice that the person is falling into and out of rapport, by their actions. From time to time you can test the status of rapport by changing your position or posture. When in rapport, the other people will likely and subconsciously, mimic your movement.
Provide a note pad and a pen for your person to write down any notes and encourage him to do so. This is a big part of the learning a commitment process. Periodically refer back to what they wrote down to determine what they found to be important.
State the purpose of the discussion, the problem and specifically how the work supports the organization. Don’t hesitate to review some of the positive aspects of this persons work.
Mutually discuss the expectations and the measures.
Recap the discussion and check for commitment. It always helps to ask the person to restate, for you, what they perceive to be their path forward. What specifically, their actions or changes in behavior will be and result in. Ask them to review their notes. You want to hear them restate your expectations, in their own words. IF NECESSARY, help them here, but only if they get off track.
Set a date for follow-up. FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR COMMITMENT.
Help them see how their behavior, words, actions, body language and even facial expressions will influence their own way of behaving and everyone around them too. When they walk out of this session, their every movement or reaction will be ABSOLUTLEY CRITICAL.
END on a positive note. Shake hands. Crack a joke. Talk more about the person’s positive contributions to the organization.
1. Collect Background Information
Learn what, SPECIFICALLY the person finds important in life. Watch their behavior, actions, reactions and mannerisms. Identify their baseline body language. Identify the SPECIFIC issue, behavior or tendency that needs to be realigned. Collect the tangible background information as well as the intangible. We sometimes steer away from the intangibles, because, well they’re intangible. With practice and creativity you can build a tangible issue from a perception or a generalization.
2. Develop a Plan
Start with the OBT process, Outcome Based Thinking. If you work backward from your expected end result, then it will be easier to head off any attempts to derail the process. Remember, the person you are working with will resent any efforts to change their behaviors or beliefs. The result, in most cases, will be a series of natural defenses, designed to protect and justify their subconscious programming. Pointing the finger at everything and everyone else, not willing to admit that the real issue is their own behavior. Prepare yourself too, for the least that you are willing to accept from the meeting. Sometimes you will struggle for the right motivational thoughts or simply run out of time. So prepare yourself for the minimum that you can accept.
Prepare yourself with stories, analogies or fables that may help you paint a LASTING picture in their mind. Stories allow you to speak directly to person’s subconscious, the EXACT source of most behavior. Rely on quotations from experts and don’t be afraid to express what you have learned from your own experiences. This AUTOMATICALLY builds credibility and Keeps it REAL! Chose appropriate stories. Those that ADD VALUE, connect with what they find important in life or teach values and beliefs. Share emotional experiences and don’t be afraid to show the raw AND controlled emotion. Focus on your intention. Focus on what you want the other person to think, feel or do after you tell the story. Focus on your purpose, what is your business, in life. Remember, you want the other person to come out on top too.
Practice your OPEN and CLOSED ended questions. Use the Open ended questions when you want the person to expand on a thought or express their opinion. Ask a Closed ended question then you need to pull the discussion back onto the tracks. IT’S EASY, IF NOT MONITORED AND CONTROLLED, TO LOSE TRACK OF THE GOAL WHEN THE DEFENSES START FLYING.
Consider the problems that could come up and how you might deal with each of them. Remember this too, that the fear of loss is a much stronger motivator than the pleasure from a potential gain. People will naturally do more to avoid pain than to seek pleasure.
Prepare a Conclusion
3. Discussion
Build Rapport
Absolutely be sure and sit on the dominant side of the person. If they are Right Handed then sit to their Right. If they are Left Handed then sit to their Left.
Start with small talk, help the person feel comfortable and relaxed. This is often a high pressure situation and the natural defenses will hurt your process and hinder the person’s development. Talk about something that you know they are interested in. If it’s a subject that you don’t find particularly interesting then ask questions like, “How did you first learn to do this?” or “When did you first become interested in this …?”
Discretely match the other person’s movements, pace of breathing and tone of voice.
Watch the persons every move and listen to every word they choose. The words that a person ELECTS to use can help you determine HOW they are thinking and aid you in helping them realize a misgiving. You know that you have gained some rapport by the person’s actions and movements. First, they will let down their defensive posture and fall into their baseline as described above. As this discussion continues, you will notice that the person is falling into and out of rapport, by their actions. From time to time you can test the status of rapport by changing your position or posture. When in rapport, the other people will likely and subconsciously, mimic your movement.
Provide a note pad and a pen for your person to write down any notes and encourage him to do so. This is a big part of the learning a commitment process. Periodically refer back to what they wrote down to determine what they found to be important.
State the purpose of the discussion, the problem and specifically how the work supports the organization. Don’t hesitate to review some of the positive aspects of this persons work.
Mutually discuss the expectations and the measures.
Recap the discussion and check for commitment. It always helps to ask the person to restate, for you, what they perceive to be their path forward. What specifically, their actions or changes in behavior will be and result in. Ask them to review their notes. You want to hear them restate your expectations, in their own words. IF NECESSARY, help them here, but only if they get off track.
Set a date for follow-up. FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR COMMITMENT.
Help them see how their behavior, words, actions, body language and even facial expressions will influence their own way of behaving and everyone around them too. When they walk out of this session, their every movement or reaction will be ABSOLUTLEY CRITICAL.
END on a positive note. Shake hands. Crack a joke. Talk more about the person’s positive contributions to the organization.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Still a Man Hears What He Wants to Hear...
I learned this first from Simon and Garfunkel – ...Still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. Since then, I have learned that there are reasons why we communicate, behave and think the way that we do.
1. We are all, in part, a product of our genes.
2. We are all, in part, a product of our environment, including our peers and families.
3. We are all, in part, a product of our unique experiences (traumas, life events, etc.)
4. We all have defensive attitudes that both help and harm us.
5. We all want love.
6. We all have suffered emotional pain
7. We don’t want to get hurt anymore.
Recognizing that people are shaped by their past is one thing. Realizing that their communication skills, behavior and thinking, are linked to their past is a life-changing revelation. We look at the world through these goggles or the rose-colored glasses, whatever you prefer, as a result of the all these parts. When you embrace this concept, then you begin to realize that YOU alone decide how YOU react, to any given situation. After you’ve mastered yourself, then you can begin to help others, master themselves. Truly a life-changing revelation!
1. We are all, in part, a product of our genes.
2. We are all, in part, a product of our environment, including our peers and families.
3. We are all, in part, a product of our unique experiences (traumas, life events, etc.)
4. We all have defensive attitudes that both help and harm us.
5. We all want love.
6. We all have suffered emotional pain
7. We don’t want to get hurt anymore.
Recognizing that people are shaped by their past is one thing. Realizing that their communication skills, behavior and thinking, are linked to their past is a life-changing revelation. We look at the world through these goggles or the rose-colored glasses, whatever you prefer, as a result of the all these parts. When you embrace this concept, then you begin to realize that YOU alone decide how YOU react, to any given situation. After you’ve mastered yourself, then you can begin to help others, master themselves. Truly a life-changing revelation!
Monday, February 1, 2010
One HUGE Leadership Lesson!
Here's just a bit from Marshall Goldsmith's, What Got You Here, Won’t Get Your There. How Successful People Become Even More Successful!
“Happy are they that can hear their detractions and put them to mending” – William Shakespeare, Much ado About Nothing
You Are Here
It doesn’t take much to get people reoriented – out of the maze and back on the right path. These problems are not life-threatening diseases (although ignored for too long they can destroy a career). They’re not deep-seated neuroses that require years of therapy or tons of medication to erase. More often than not, they are simple behavioral tics, bad habits that we repeat dozens of times a day in the workplace, which can be cured by (a) pointing them out, (b) showing the havoc they cause among the people surrounding us, and (c) demonstrating that with a slight behavioral tweak we can achieve a much more appealing effect.
“Put a comma in the wrong place and the whole sentence is screwed up.”
Actors stepping on a line. Writers misusing commas. Chefs leaving out a key ingredient. That’s what we’re talking about here in the workplace. People who do one annoying thing repeatedly on the job and don’t realize that this small flaw may sabotage their otherwise golden career.
And worse, they do not realize that (a) it’s happening and (b) they can fix it.
You Are Here
You can get there.
But you have to understand that what got you here won’t get you there.
“Happy are they that can hear their detractions and put them to mending” – William Shakespeare, Much ado About Nothing
You Are Here
It doesn’t take much to get people reoriented – out of the maze and back on the right path. These problems are not life-threatening diseases (although ignored for too long they can destroy a career). They’re not deep-seated neuroses that require years of therapy or tons of medication to erase. More often than not, they are simple behavioral tics, bad habits that we repeat dozens of times a day in the workplace, which can be cured by (a) pointing them out, (b) showing the havoc they cause among the people surrounding us, and (c) demonstrating that with a slight behavioral tweak we can achieve a much more appealing effect.
“Put a comma in the wrong place and the whole sentence is screwed up.”
Actors stepping on a line. Writers misusing commas. Chefs leaving out a key ingredient. That’s what we’re talking about here in the workplace. People who do one annoying thing repeatedly on the job and don’t realize that this small flaw may sabotage their otherwise golden career.
And worse, they do not realize that (a) it’s happening and (b) they can fix it.
You Are Here
You can get there.
But you have to understand that what got you here won’t get you there.
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