Behavior?

It’s almost funny, the consistency with witch adults responds to the subject of behavior. As if it is an automatic or programmed response. It’s as if we are associating the term behavior with all those childhood lessons. The lessons learned from our parents when they left us alone, at home for the afternoon. Before the left, they always said, “behave yourself.” That probably meant, don’t get into things that you know you shouldn’t. It may have meant, stay out of the cookie jar, candy dish or that box of magazines that your father had under their bed. For some, it meant don’t torment or fight with your sister. Maybe even, don’t throw rocks at the neighbor, their window or the cat. When we a make these connections automatically, we tend too, to become very defensive automatically. As an adult, who are you to talk to me, an adult, about behavior?

As an adult, in the workplace, behavior takes on a whole different meaning. Although there may be instances of throwing objects, they are probably less likely. Behavior in the workplace tends to indicate an action or reaction to some stimulus, something that we observed via one of senses. As such, there are an almost infinite number of actions and reactions to various situations in the workplace. Some of these reactions may be appropriate and others may be inappropriate and harmful.

It’s inappropriate behavior when one employee refuses to answer a simple question that is asked by his coworker.

It’s inappropriate behavior when an employee asks the supervisor a question and he/she rolls their eyes, as if to say, “oh, not again.”

It’s inappropriate behavior when the same scrap of paper has been on the floor for several days, and everyone has walk by pretending not to notice.

It’s inappropriate behavior when, for whatever reason, our job becomes idle and we elect not to seek out the supervisor for additional tasks.
The list can go on-and-on…

We have the responsibility to identify (critical thinking skills) these dysfunctional and destructive behaviors and then, go to work on these opportunities.

Motivation and Accountability

Motivation?

Consider this… Everyone is motivated. They are motivated by the consequence that they anticipate.

Beliefs and Values Congruence / Verbal and Non-verbal Behavior Congruence

This, I have learned and it will undoubtedly help you too.

Beliefs are those fundamental principles or reasons, which guide us. Values are what we find to be important. Congruence, simply put, is agreement or consistency.

Some of what makes us unique individuals, is our mapping of beliefs and values. They govern what we do and define what we find important as an individual. Any two people can look at the exact same world and because we make different models of it, we interpret completely different things. Sometimes our own value set can coexist with a low level of conflict, depending on the situation. Different parts of us embody different values, follow different interests, have different intentions, and so come into conflict. Think of this as your inner voice. The voice inside your head when you think about something, that says do this or do that, this is better, no that is better, etc.

Imagine these different parts of ourselves that coexisting, for a reason. These parts again have developed as a result of our genetics, environment and life experience. Now imagine these parts being the instruments of an orchestra. Each one, by itself capable of making perfectly fine music, but nothing compared to the total harmony created when the instruments blend together.

You see, sooner or later in life we realize the importance of exploring our beliefs and defining our values, consciously. We must define ourselves first. Know yourself first. With maturity and a strong definition of ourselves we will tend to think and act congruently. That is to say, that our maps, or behaviors both verbal and non-verbal will tend to be consistent. This consistency will shine through, not only to those who observe you, but to all those other parts of yourself too. 

The lesson here is to look for this congruence in yourself and in the people around you. Those that are consistent, stable, strong, are tending to be congruent while others tend to be less congruent, to varying degrees. When it comes to helping others, congruence, or the lack of, will be one of the first clues for where you need to put the medicine.

Engines, Leadership and YOUR Success

If you are on that management/leadership career trajectory, then keep this in mind...

It’s simple for us engine-heads. We learned early on that it takes Horsepower to get you there and Torque to keep you there. In other words, with high horsepower you’ll get to 60 quicker but if you don’t have the torque, you won’t be able to maintain 60 for long.

So, how does this relate to Leadership and your success? When it comes to your personal style, you ether tend to be action oriented, process oriented, people oriented or idea oriented. Usually we are some mixture, to varying degrees, of each. Leadership is SERIOUSLY about people, EVERYTHING to do with people. As we journey toward whatever career endpoint we envision for ourselves, we need to realize that it has been the ACTION (Often Times) that has gotten us to where we are. BUT, it is the degree to which we are people oriented, that will keep us there.

Horsepower is to Torque as Action is to People. Simple. Right.

Remember that there is a reason why we behave the way that we do. We are all in part a product of our genetics, environment, life experience, etc. We think one way or another for a reason. Knowing this and utilizing this fact is the first step. If you know that your weakness is in the area of people orientation, then BECOME GENUINELY INTERESTED IN PEOPLE. This newfound interest/habit will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, to a degree.

Marshall Goldsmith put it well.
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.

It takes action (horsepower) to get you there and people (torque) to keep you there.

The Butterfly Effect as it Applies to OUR Behavior

Technically, "the Butterfly Effect is a metaphor, describing the concept where there is a sensitive dependence on initial conditions of a dynamic system that may produce a large variation in the long term behavior of the system." Awesome Technical Stuff! Right? Put another way, this phrase also represents the theory that the movement of a butterflies wings, creates a tiny change in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the weather on the other side of the globe. The exact effect on the weather may also vary, depending on the angle of the movement, the speed of the movement and the direction the butterfly is moving in. So, in theory a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil could cause a tornado in Texas. It’s all scientific theory of course, but just imagine it, for a minute.

On the other hand, these dynamic systems describe too, the infinite number relationships between people, objects and the most discrete of actions (or not), reactions (or not), behaviors (or not). Basically any behavior (or lack of), mannerism (or lack of), attitude (good or not), facial expression (or lack of), all have an impact somewhere down the line. The impact may be favorable or not favorable, depending on ALL of the details of the specific situation. Consider too, the ripple effect caused by the butterfly which led to the tornado in Texas. Think of it like the ripples that result when you toss a stone in a calm lake. The ripple starts out small and continues to grow in size, bigger and bigger until it blends in with the rest of the lake. The fact is that there ripples are continuing on such a small scale that you just can’t see them. Imagine how the ripple might look differently if you were to plunge a stick (representing a coworker) into the water, somewhere amidst the ripples. Imagine then, how it might look, if you tossed another stone (representing a mischievous coworker) in, amongst the ripples. All of these things are analogies to our behaviors and THE IMPACT OF THE IMPACTS of the behaviors.

The LIFE ALTERING REVELATION comes when we realize that we are all butterflies, in a way, and our behaviors are the flapping of the wings, which have some end result(s). The sentence we choose, the words we choose, the posture or mannerisms we take, our facial expressions or our tone of voice. All of these seemingly small things can potentially have a significant impact on someone or something, seemingly unrelated.

Being conscious of this, WISELY CHOOSE what you would like the end results to be.

Learning and Habits

I have learned that it is important to be aware of how we learn, and in some cases, make things habitual. The Learning Process:

1. Unconscious Incompetence. That is to say, you are unaware of what you don’t know.
2. Conscious Incompetence. That is to say, you are aware now of what you are unable to do.
3. Conscious Competence. That is to say, you have learned about what you previously unaware of, although you must still think your way through it, step by step.
4. Unconscious Competence. That is to say, now you have programmed yourself, so as the activity or behavior is automatic.

This last level is that which habits are formed. Habits can be a double-edged sword. Habits can be Good, when you need to learn something that needs repetition. Habits can be Bad, when the activity or behavior can benefit from a different perspective, approach or method. Bad Habits don’t Add Value.

Leadership Quote

"Control is not leadership; management is not leadership; leadership is leadership is leadership. If you seek to lead, invest at least 50% of your time LEADING YOURSELF—your own purpose, ethics, principles, motivation, conduct. Invest at least 20% leading those with authority over you and 15% leading your peers. If you don't understand that you work for your mislabeled 'subordinates,' then you know nothing of leadership. You know only tyranny."


— Dee Hock
Founder and CEO Emeritus
VISA International